I grew up going to the church with my grandmother and family but lived a life so ridiculously far from what I said I believed. I grew up living for the attention of others, seeking everything in a round about way to make myself look good and only to please myself, willing to do just about anything to gain the popularity. In my opinion from the time of my 7th grade year till my sophomore year of high school I was an extremely selfish, ungrateful, did not really care about anything person. I looked for most of my attention growing up from girls, talking to many at a time and playing baseball. The worst part was it never really even bothered me that I said I was a Christian and lived this completely different life. I was fake, I was one of the biggest liars, I held grudges against people, I was a total hypocrite, cussing like a sailor, doing all the wrong things.
I did not at any point make a real impact for Christ until my junior year of high school but still I thought believing was enough to please Him. I always would lay down at night and think about death and where I would go after this life, to the point one night where I cried so hard that it woke my mother up and it also made me sick. I believed in Jesus Christ but I was simply living for myself, only to satisfy me.
Towards the end of my junior year on a bus ride up to go play in State Baseball Quarterfinals I had realized baseball was
my passion. It was something I really wanted to do and go as far as I possibly could with it. I told my mom and grandmother at age 3 that I was going to be a baseball player but I wasn't working hard, I was all talk and didn't walk the walk back then. We ended up losing that game and I came home to look up some bible verses on my laptop. That night I layed in bed and thought about my life, what was coming up that summer, so many showcases and opportunities that people were giving to me to show myself off to scouts and I wanted to make the most of them. I prayed that night for strength throughout that summer, not to get hurt and I thanked Him for all that He had given me and would continue to give. Still, I had not became a true follower of Christ.
During that summer everything was going well for me. My family was doing better and I was very successful in baseball but something was missing in my life still. It was at this point in my life where I realized that I had everything that the world thinks will make you happy. I had success, I had so many opportunities, I did not have a relationship so I could really focused on what and where I wanted to be, but I still had a huge want for something more and something better but never could find it. The summer baseball ended, my senior year started and I continued to live a non christian life. I was still cussing and what not, but I had humbled a bit and I cared for people and the opportunities given to me more and more each week and started to realize alot of things.
Second semester had started, my grades were not well but baseball season was starting and that alone was all I wanted. Practice started and everything was going well until I threw a bullpen in the gym. My arm started to hurt but for a baseball player at the beginning of the season, that is normal. I really didnt think much of it, I went out and ran to get the lactic acid out. Two days after we had a scrimmage and it was then when I realized something was wrong. A ball was hit to the third basemen, I went over to back up first base, the ball was thrown across and our first basemen couldnt pick the short hop, it got by him and I was there to back it up. The runner ran to second not realizing I had the ball ready to throw him out.. then I threw the ball, my shoulder felt like it had seperated from my arm and the ball may have went 60 feet. I was in so much pain but I went ahead and finished the inning. A few days later I was in for MRI's on my shoulder, I was laying in the MRI machine when I realized that I had hit a crossroads in my life, suddenly everything had been taken from me. My shoulder was possibly torn, my life (baseball) was taken from me for atleast a few months and all I wanted to do was cry and feel completely helpless but I just had to be positive and shake it off. It was at this point that I had really gotten into twitter. I began to follow James Ramsey from Florida State and Ryan Mathews from N.C. State. I read these guys tweets and thought Wow, I really would love to be like these guys but I knew that would take a huge promise and commitment to myself and to God. Mr. Ramsey had started a spiritual email list with a bunch of his college friends that played baseball, he tweeted and asked if you want to be on our list, tweet me your email. I jumped at the opportunity to get on this list. A few hours later I get the email and it was as if the email was speaking directly to me. He talked about Luke 9:23 "“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." I looked that verse up on my phone and began to think about what it meant and what everything was about that he had talked about. I prayed that night for an understanding and if James Ramsey was a light to my path to recieve Christ then I wanted to go at it with all my heart. I woke up that next morning and thought about it again, I downloaded the bible app on my phone and began to read it in Chemistry class, It suddenly made sense to me and I didnt understand why?
Weeks had passed and I had started to gain some knowledge and understand about Christ as I began to study it on my phone on a daily basis and what he had done for me and all other people. I was still cussing, but I felt better about myself, I felt that I had been forgiven of all my sins and that I was needing a change in my life and He was calling me to do so. I began to get on my mother about going back to church but I simply didn’t know much of anything other than living a life to not sin. That Sunday morning we went to church and once again it felt as if God was speaking directly to me through the sermon from our pastor. A few days had gone by and I felt as if I had to and was ready to let God into my life now. It was a Tuesday night, about 11:30 and I was laying in my bed that I had asked God to come into my heart and my life and use me how he wanted to in any way that he wanted to Glorify him and lead others to Christ. It was then that I was most at peace and my heart was officially filled. Words can't explain the feeling. Accepting Jesus Christ into my heart was the biggest and best decision that I ever made. I’d been feeling like I wanted to have a better life, and I found it in God and I knew it right then and there at that moment. Around that time God became so real to me, my life had to and began to change. People began to notice that I started acting differently. I started living for Christ, playing for Christ and doing everything I did, for Christ.
A week later my grandmother, mother and I went out to the Christian book store and my grandmother bought me a real bible. That night I began to read it and everything seemed to run into my mind and just stick. I was so happy to have been saved and I thought about the times that I wondered where I would go after my life, now I knew and words cant begin to describe how happy that made me.
Easter break came and I went down to Georgia with my bestfriend, we had a wonderful time fishing and I sat on the bank thinking about my life as well as the people's lives around me. I came back from Georgia a very happy person, and began to think about writing my own emails like Mr. Ramsey had done. A few people asked to be on it and it took me a few days to write the email up but I'll never be able to describe the feeling that I had when I got feedback from the people because I knew that God was working inside me, I was caring, I was doing my job on this earth by spreading His word and His promises to others via email and Twitter and He was using me how He wanted to. I still to this day send out those emails every month and the list of people continues to grow more and more.
Weeks went on and the end of school came, graduation came, I was a changed man. I had finally graduated high school, Class of 2012.. but that wasn't the big picture anymore, it was giving God the glory and realizing that without Him, none of this was possible. Living my life without Him for so many years is something I will never understand how I did. This past summer, I played Legion baseball here in my hometown and did really well for not playing all spring due to my arm injury. I also believe that He helped me with that also because I ended up completely healed and on the throwing program a month before I was supposed to be on it. I never really had arm problems all summer. I went out and played every single game for Him, I told Him before every game, “I’m doing this in Your name.” I don’t worry about so many things, I dont get mad like I used to if I strike out or mess up because it ultimately is not about that, I play to please God and if I have a good game I give the glory to Him. If I have a bad game I continue to give Him the honor and glory because He has control over everything.
I look at everything in my life in such a different way now. I use what I have as my platform to share his word and His unconditional love. Baseball is looked at as a platform especially and I have accepted it if His plan isnt for me to play baseball past the collegiate level. I have been living for Christ and looking for His lead, He hasn't failed me yet. I don’t talk about Him or read the bible and other things just to make myself look good. My relationship with Him has grown so much that I really want to open my bible, encourage others and tell people about Him because I want to make an impact and lead by example on everything I do through Him and for Him now.
I believe that every human being is born with a little defect in his or her heart. That defect is a hole in the heart that can only be filled by Jesus Christ. I honestly cannot describe to you how much my life was changed. I really had never read the bible before in my life before this. I not only started to read the bible but I've been able to learn what it means to live life as a Christian man and what it means to be a follower of Christ. I learned not only about God’s love but that it was actually real. I found out that despite all the things I had done in my life that Jesus had already paid the penalty for them. I learned about pursuing a life of purity for the sake of Jesus. I learned about not only what type of woman I want to marry but most importantly what type of man I want to be for the sake of Christ for the rest of my life. So in everything I do, I want to glorify Him. Whether that is through my social life, playing baseball, whatever it can be. No I am not perfect, the only person who ever was is Jesus. I want to live to share Jesus through my ups and downs in life and my testimony because some people may never get a glimpse of who God is besides what they see in me and through me. I still don’t have everything figured out but that’s what I love about Him. He can take someone like me who has been living a life so far from what they professed and show people that He is real and He changes lives.
To say my life has never been the same would be a complete understatement. I still experience pain and short comings, I still fall so short of Him but He has called me into His light through a relationship with Jesus and that relationship will be more important than anything I will ever have or experience in this lifetime.
Collosians 3: 23 - “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”
Matthew 6: 33 - "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
During that summer everything was going well for me. My family was doing better and I was very successful in baseball but something was missing in my life still. It was at this point in my life where I realized that I had everything that the world thinks will make you happy. I had success, I had so many opportunities, I did not have a relationship so I could really focused on what and where I wanted to be, but I still had a huge want for something more and something better but never could find it. The summer baseball ended, my senior year started and I continued to live a non christian life. I was still cussing and what not, but I had humbled a bit and I cared for people and the opportunities given to me more and more each week and started to realize alot of things.
Second semester had started, my grades were not well but baseball season was starting and that alone was all I wanted. Practice started and everything was going well until I threw a bullpen in the gym. My arm started to hurt but for a baseball player at the beginning of the season, that is normal. I really didnt think much of it, I went out and ran to get the lactic acid out. Two days after we had a scrimmage and it was then when I realized something was wrong. A ball was hit to the third basemen, I went over to back up first base, the ball was thrown across and our first basemen couldnt pick the short hop, it got by him and I was there to back it up. The runner ran to second not realizing I had the ball ready to throw him out.. then I threw the ball, my shoulder felt like it had seperated from my arm and the ball may have went 60 feet. I was in so much pain but I went ahead and finished the inning. A few days later I was in for MRI's on my shoulder, I was laying in the MRI machine when I realized that I had hit a crossroads in my life, suddenly everything had been taken from me. My shoulder was possibly torn, my life (baseball) was taken from me for atleast a few months and all I wanted to do was cry and feel completely helpless but I just had to be positive and shake it off. It was at this point that I had really gotten into twitter. I began to follow James Ramsey from Florida State and Ryan Mathews from N.C. State. I read these guys tweets and thought Wow, I really would love to be like these guys but I knew that would take a huge promise and commitment to myself and to God. Mr. Ramsey had started a spiritual email list with a bunch of his college friends that played baseball, he tweeted and asked if you want to be on our list, tweet me your email. I jumped at the opportunity to get on this list. A few hours later I get the email and it was as if the email was speaking directly to me. He talked about Luke 9:23 "“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." I looked that verse up on my phone and began to think about what it meant and what everything was about that he had talked about. I prayed that night for an understanding and if James Ramsey was a light to my path to recieve Christ then I wanted to go at it with all my heart. I woke up that next morning and thought about it again, I downloaded the bible app on my phone and began to read it in Chemistry class, It suddenly made sense to me and I didnt understand why?
Weeks had passed and I had started to gain some knowledge and understand about Christ as I began to study it on my phone on a daily basis and what he had done for me and all other people. I was still cussing, but I felt better about myself, I felt that I had been forgiven of all my sins and that I was needing a change in my life and He was calling me to do so. I began to get on my mother about going back to church but I simply didn’t know much of anything other than living a life to not sin. That Sunday morning we went to church and once again it felt as if God was speaking directly to me through the sermon from our pastor. A few days had gone by and I felt as if I had to and was ready to let God into my life now. It was a Tuesday night, about 11:30 and I was laying in my bed that I had asked God to come into my heart and my life and use me how he wanted to in any way that he wanted to Glorify him and lead others to Christ. It was then that I was most at peace and my heart was officially filled. Words can't explain the feeling. Accepting Jesus Christ into my heart was the biggest and best decision that I ever made. I’d been feeling like I wanted to have a better life, and I found it in God and I knew it right then and there at that moment. Around that time God became so real to me, my life had to and began to change. People began to notice that I started acting differently. I started living for Christ, playing for Christ and doing everything I did, for Christ.
A week later my grandmother, mother and I went out to the Christian book store and my grandmother bought me a real bible. That night I began to read it and everything seemed to run into my mind and just stick. I was so happy to have been saved and I thought about the times that I wondered where I would go after my life, now I knew and words cant begin to describe how happy that made me.
Easter break came and I went down to Georgia with my bestfriend, we had a wonderful time fishing and I sat on the bank thinking about my life as well as the people's lives around me. I came back from Georgia a very happy person, and began to think about writing my own emails like Mr. Ramsey had done. A few people asked to be on it and it took me a few days to write the email up but I'll never be able to describe the feeling that I had when I got feedback from the people because I knew that God was working inside me, I was caring, I was doing my job on this earth by spreading His word and His promises to others via email and Twitter and He was using me how He wanted to. I still to this day send out those emails every month and the list of people continues to grow more and more.
Weeks went on and the end of school came, graduation came, I was a changed man. I had finally graduated high school, Class of 2012.. but that wasn't the big picture anymore, it was giving God the glory and realizing that without Him, none of this was possible. Living my life without Him for so many years is something I will never understand how I did. This past summer, I played Legion baseball here in my hometown and did really well for not playing all spring due to my arm injury. I also believe that He helped me with that also because I ended up completely healed and on the throwing program a month before I was supposed to be on it. I never really had arm problems all summer. I went out and played every single game for Him, I told Him before every game, “I’m doing this in Your name.” I don’t worry about so many things, I dont get mad like I used to if I strike out or mess up because it ultimately is not about that, I play to please God and if I have a good game I give the glory to Him. If I have a bad game I continue to give Him the honor and glory because He has control over everything.
I look at everything in my life in such a different way now. I use what I have as my platform to share his word and His unconditional love. Baseball is looked at as a platform especially and I have accepted it if His plan isnt for me to play baseball past the collegiate level. I have been living for Christ and looking for His lead, He hasn't failed me yet. I don’t talk about Him or read the bible and other things just to make myself look good. My relationship with Him has grown so much that I really want to open my bible, encourage others and tell people about Him because I want to make an impact and lead by example on everything I do through Him and for Him now.
I believe that every human being is born with a little defect in his or her heart. That defect is a hole in the heart that can only be filled by Jesus Christ. I honestly cannot describe to you how much my life was changed. I really had never read the bible before in my life before this. I not only started to read the bible but I've been able to learn what it means to live life as a Christian man and what it means to be a follower of Christ. I learned not only about God’s love but that it was actually real. I found out that despite all the things I had done in my life that Jesus had already paid the penalty for them. I learned about pursuing a life of purity for the sake of Jesus. I learned about not only what type of woman I want to marry but most importantly what type of man I want to be for the sake of Christ for the rest of my life. So in everything I do, I want to glorify Him. Whether that is through my social life, playing baseball, whatever it can be. No I am not perfect, the only person who ever was is Jesus. I want to live to share Jesus through my ups and downs in life and my testimony because some people may never get a glimpse of who God is besides what they see in me and through me. I still don’t have everything figured out but that’s what I love about Him. He can take someone like me who has been living a life so far from what they professed and show people that He is real and He changes lives.
To say my life has never been the same would be a complete understatement. I still experience pain and short comings, I still fall so short of Him but He has called me into His light through a relationship with Jesus and that relationship will be more important than anything I will ever have or experience in this lifetime.
Collosians 3: 23 - “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”
Matthew 6: 33 - "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
